Couples Therapy
Online in California • Illinois • Florida
Trauma-informed therapy for couples whose conflicts keep repeating—even when they deeply care.
You may have tried communication tools or therapy that helped briefly, but didn’t last. Couples therapy here focuses on what’s underneath the conflict—not just how it shows up—so change can last.
Our Approach to Couples Therapy
Couples therapy here begins by looking beneath the surface of conflict.
When disconnection grows or communication breaks down, it’s often not because either of you isn’t trying or doesn’t care — it’s because your systems are moving into protection rather than connection.For that reason, couples work includes individual trauma support alongside traditional couples sessions, helping reduce reactivity and support presence. Sessions are also paced to allow enough space for relationship work to take hold.
The goal is couples therapy that feels steadier, more supportive, and sustainable over time.
How Couples Therapy is Structured Here
Couples work follows a structured, phase-based model. For many couples, the most important shift happens when the nervous system patterns driving conflict are addressed directly before traditional couples therapy begins.
-
Couples therapy begins with us taking time to understand what’s happening in your relationship and what you want moving forward before we begin deeper work.
In this phase, we work together to:
clarify your goals and what feels most important right now
understand the history of the relationship and what has led to this point
talk through what you’ve already tried so far
decide whether the focus is on repairing the relationship, gaining clarity, or determining what the next step should be
make sure both partners feel heard and on the same page
choose the format of therapy that will help the work move forward most effectively
This step helps us create a clear plan before moving into the Relationship Reset phase, where we work directly to loosen the patterns that keep the relationship stuck.
-
In this phase, we work directly with the patterns that take over between you during conflict, so the same reactions don’t keep pulling the relationship back into the same cycle.
Rather than trying to eliminate reactivity, we focus on changing what happens between you when it shows up. This allows new experiences to happen in the moment, instead of the conversation going the way it always has.
This phase includes EMDR work along with a structured couples process that helps partners recognize their cycle, slow it down, repair disconnection, and respond differently even when emotions are high.
This phase is called the Relationship Reset.
It can be done in a 2-day intensive format or across seven biweekly sessions, but the goal is the same — to help the relationship move out of the same repeating cycle and into a more stable, workable way of relating.
For some couples, this phase alone creates the shift they were needing.
Others continue into ongoing couples therapy to keep building on that foundation.Learn more about the Relationship Reset →
-
After the Relationship Reset phase, some couples feel ready to move forward on their own.
Others choose to continue in ongoing couples therapy to keep strengthening the changes, work through more complex differences, or support the relationship over time.
In this phase, sessions are 90 minutes scheduled every other week and focus more directly on the relationship itself — including working through gridlocked issues or conversations that require more time to work through.
Because the groundwork has already been laid, this phase tends to feel steadier and less reactive, allowing the work to go deeper without getting stuck in the same protective cycle during sessions.
-
Many couples feel stuck having the same argument over and over, even when they care about each other and want things to be different.
In the Relationship Reset, we begin by slowing down what happens inside each of you when tension rises — how needs, interpretations, emotions, and protective reactions shape the interaction.
When these patterns become clear, conflict starts to make sense, and change becomes possible.
-
When conflict happens, most couples don’t struggle because they don’t know what to say — they struggle because their nervous system moves into protection.
This phase focuses on learning how to slow reactivity, stay inside your window of tolerance, and regain the ability to choose how you respond instead of reacting automatically.
-
Once each of you has more regulation capacity, we begin working with the interaction itself.
You learn to recognize the protection dance that happens between you, interrupt it earlier, and shift back into connection before the conversation escalates.
You’ll practice staying relational even when tension appears, so disagreements no longer have to turn into the same fight.
-
All relationships experience rupture, misunderstanding, and disconnection.
This phase focuses on learning how to repair after conflict, return to connection, and rebuild trust instead of getting stuck in distance or resentment.
You learn how to take appropriate responsibility, soften without losing yourself, and respectfully move toward each other even when repair feels difficult.
-
Healthy relationships don’t eliminate differences. They learn how to stay connected while working through them.
In the final phase of the Relationship Reset, you’ll learn how to handle disagreement, influence each other without control, tolerate discomfort, and relate to each other as equals even when you don’t see things the same way.
This is what allows change to last outside of therapy.
What We Work On During the Relationship Reset Phase
Below is an overview of what we work on during Phase 2 of couples therapy.
Who This Approach May Be a Good Fit For
This model is especially helpful for couples who:
feel stuck in repeating arguments or emotional distance
escalate quickly or shut down during conflict
have trauma histories impacting the relationship
have tried traditional couples therapy without lasting change
want to work at the root of disconnection, not learn better communication strategies only
Therapeutic Frameworks Used in Couples Therapy
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy
-
Couples therapy at Root Psychotherapy is offered in an 90-minute sessions, scheduled every other week. The couples rate is $450 per 90-minute session.
-
When conflict escalates or connection breaks down, it’s often because one or both partners’ nervous systems are shifting into protection rather than safety. In those moments, insight or communication tools alone aren’t enough — reactions happen faster than intention.
Trauma-focused work helps reduce reactivity and soften protective responses, making it easier to stay present and engaged with one another. Extended sessions then provide enough time to slow things down, work with what’s happening between you, and support repair without feeling rushed or cut short.
Together, these elements create conditions where couples therapy can feel more supportive, effective, and sustainable — not just focused on managing conflict, but on restoring safety and connection.
Why individual trauma work and extended sessions enhance couples therapy →